Pastor Ted talks about his sex life

Pelosi's daughter has a documentary that will show on HBO, and Pastor Ted's in it. Here's a bit from ABC News:

In the film, he proclaims that evangelicals have the best sex lives in the world. "You know all the surveys say that evangelicals have the best sex life of any other group," he says. In the documentary, Haggard asks an evangelical next to him how often he has sex with his wife. The man replies, "Every day." Haggard then explains that evangelicals have a lot of love and says to Pelosi, "You don't think these babies come out of nowhere?"

Ew, ew, ew, ew.

And that's the mature response.

At least he's showing he paid attention in Conservative Statistics 101: "You know all the surveys say...." Yes, a vague reference to all the surveys. Touche, Mr. Haggard, touche. Although someone told me that you needed crystal meth to have sex with your wife.

UPDATE: Speaking of Evangelicals and statistics, Christianity Today has a great article up about just that. And no one can say the author's anti-Christian: He's a youth minister named Christian who writes for Christianity Today.

Pastor Ted's rehab will be unbearably annoying

From the Agape Press

:In the new church or ministry environment, Wickman explains, a pastor is provided with service opportunities, accountability and other "things that he's used to," in a setting "where he can agonize in front of people that are sympathetic and understanding."

Riiiiiight.... Because he's so used to accountability.

We're still hoping for something that we're more familiar with when it comes to rehab, like freakouts, eating without sharp objects, and weekend romance. As is par for course with Agape Press, the article reluctantly provides a little bit of truth:

"And to be called of God and to have no place to go is agonizing," Wickman adds. And this is true "particularly for his wife," he notes, "whom we have found always takes longer to recover than the husband."

What? Mrs. Pastor Ted isn't going to have fun ex-gaying her husband and then spending the rest of her life with a closeted nelly with an affinity for the crystal meth?

Legitimate news source: Hot bottom off the market

Damn, they're kicking themselves in the pants right now. The kids at Q-Bomb were too slow on the uptake to grab the meal ticket while the getting was good. Ted Haggard has said gone into rehab, according to the CO Springs Gazette. It's not the good kind that treats people who compulsively waste crystal meth, but the bad kind that tries to make men out of nancy-boys.

So it seems like the the only guy who will get to tap that evangelical ass is Mike Post.