Best AFA ActionAlert ever

Just in time for the holiday Christmas season, the AFA is bringing you an awesome ActionAlert. The target this time: Hollywood (read: Jews and gays).

It's about Charlie Sheen's character singing Joy to the World with these hilarious lyrics instead:

“Joy to the world, I’m getting laid; I’m getting laid tonight. We’ll light the yule log, deck the halls, and then we’ll play some jingle balls. It’s been a real long wait – this is our second date! It’s Christmas Eve and I’m getting laid.”

This joke is so lame that the AFA calls it "bigotry", in much the same way that a long road trip can feel like "genocide" or future Brownback filibusters will be a "war crime".

They won't stop till every non-Christian is squashed

The folks at Red State are calling up a gaggle of retailers to see what their policy is on customer greetings. Not a single one so far has said that they aren't allowing "Merry Christmas", with responses ranging from apathy to frenzied indecision. But that's not good enough:

What strikes me from these responses are the ways in which the companies genuflect in the direction of alter of “diversity.”

You see, it wouldn't be good enough if every employee of every retailer said "Merry Christmas" to every customer because this isn't about Christmas. It's about making sure that every non-Christian is reminded every time they leave their houses that they are different so that they don't get too uppity. And that's the true spirit of the season.

God joins War on Christmas, and so does the wind

Apparently this has gone too far:

Also on Monument Circle, a nativity scene on the lawn of Christ Church Cathedral was damaged by Friday's strong winds.

We can't possibly keep up with the entire War on Christmas, but we really thought we could count on God and Bill O'Reilly to be on Christmas's side.

And the battle rages on...

And we beat all the conservative pundits we follow to this story. A Colorado woman put up a peace-sign wreath and the neighborhood association president is trying to get her to take it down. That's right: Christmas is banned in Pagosa Springs.

OK, conservative online pundits, you can now link to my blog and tell everyone about this, the latest battle in the War on Christmas.

AFA: Boycott the Jews at Best Buy

We mentioned the War on Christmas started before Thanksgiving, and now it's on. The ineffective boycott aficionados at the AFA issued an "ActionAlert" to tell people to stop buying their whatever it is that those folks would buy (copies of The Passion of the Christ?) at Best Buy. Apparently someone not saying "Merry Christmas" is the same as that person banning it, and banning it is the same thing as banning Christians, and banning Christians means that they are universally oppressed, by, let's say, the Jews. Woot!

Is it already that time of year?

The battle lines are being drawn in the War on Christmas. Last year the kids here thought that it was just anti-Semitism in a prom dress, but there's nothing WalMart won't try to get a few more shoppers.

This year's enemy: Best Buy. Those electronic Scrooges seem to think that it's "important" to "respect" the "several holidays throughout that time period". Don't worry, the kids here will deliver the blow-by-blow on the 2006 battle, keeping you in the know so you can impress your friends at holiday Christmas parties with anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.